Day 4: PURE (+ Goodbye, Ghosts of Christmas Past!)

Day 4: PURE (+ Goodbye, Ghosts of Christmas Past!)

Each day during The PURSE-onality Challenge: "A Holiday-Ready Heart" in October, Untangling Christmas by Karen Ehman and LeAnn Rice, will be our give-away prize!  

Enter via the Rafflecopter at the end of the blog post or click here to enter!

How It Works (via Bullet Points & Videos!)
Day 1: LOVED (+ 2 Vital Questions to Ask NOW)
Day 2: CHOSEN - Making Right Holiday Choices
Day 3: COMPLETE (+ 5 Gift-Giving Questions)

As a recovering perfectionist, I still struggle with regrets.

Holiday Guilt

Some of my regrets are valid, based on things I've done (or left undone.) Healthy guilt can move me toward restoration as I recognize my failures and repent.

One Christmas when I was a teenager, I realized on Christmas Eve that I had no gifts for my family members. Desperately trying to save face, I threw together haphazard, hideous creations that featured my school photo. 

As my brother and parents opened their "gifts," I realized how selfish I'd been in (a) neglecting to think ahead about gifts, and (b) trying to pass off last-minute sloppiness as something worth giving. 

I deserved to feel that guilt. I'd earned it, and I learned from it.

Holiday Shame

However, other regrets are fantastical, based on things far out of my control. Shame paralyzes me, convincing me that I am a mistake (vs. made a mistake) and am fatally flawed.

Years ago, I cross-stitched all my Christmas gifts. I put dozens of hours into each creation, selecting designs and colors that I felt certain each recipient would especially enjoy.

So I was caught completely off-guard when one person started to open their gift and exclaimed, as they saw the frame, "Oh, family photos! Finally!" Their face fell when they saw that "all" the frame contained was my cross-stitching.

I spent months berating myself for being so stupid. What's wrong with you? Why did you think they'd want your cross-stitching? Why didn't you think of family photos?  

I didn't deserve to feel that shame. I hadn't earned it, and I didn’t learn a thing from it. 

No Holiday Shame Needed

I sure wish I'd been mature enough to laugh off the cross-stitch disappointment. I could have hauled the family in to Sears photo studio the next week...but I'm not going to waste time wallowing in that regret!

According to God, my record is clean. 

God has united you with Christ Jesus. 

For our benefit God made Him to be wisdom itself. 

Christ made us right with God; 

he made us pure and holy,

and He freed us from sin. 

1 Corinthians 1:30 (NLT)

I don’t need to keep playing in the mud of my past. 

I don’t even need to approach December as a do-over, a chance to redeem my past mistakes.

I get to experience December 25, 2012 as the first Christmas I’ve ever had (this year)!

Can you feel the difference?

Instead of asking, “What can I do so that this year is better than last year? What can I do differently so that I don’t make the same mistakes I’ve made in the past?”

I can ask:

“How will I celebrate Christmas this year because I am LOVED? because I am CHOSEN?  because I am COMPLETE?  because I am PURE?”

“How can my life express, “Happy Birthday!” to the One who has given me these amazing gifts?”

Pre-Thinking 4 Primary Holiday Regrets

Some holiday regrets are simply the result of miscommunication. We don’t realize our options. We don’t understand others’ preferences. We don’t recognize that our priorities are out of whack.

Making these simple questions a matter of conversation with God and family now can bring clarity over the upcoming weeks and months:

1)  What will I regret not doing that others legitimately need me to do for  them during the holidays?

2)  What will I regret not doing that I really need and/or want to do during the holidays?

3)  What will I regret doing that I really don’t need and/or want to do during the holidays?  

4)  What will I regret doing that others don’t legitimately need me to do for them during the holidays?

Your Turn

• What regrets do you have from past holidays? 

• Do you struggle more with guilt or shame?

• What are you feeling called to not do this year?

• What are you feeling prompted to do this year?

• Anything else on your heart!

http://purseonalitychallenge.blogspot.com/2012/10/day-4-pure-goodbye-ghosts-of-christmas.html